“You leaving feels like a funeral to me,” my good friend said as she stared straight into my eyes. Tears trickled down her cheeks. “You see, Bon, you are going on to something new, something exciting. I am truly thrilled for you. But I am already feeling so lonely by the hole you are leaving in my daily life by not being here physically.”

Now, more than twenty-seven years later, I clearly remember my friend’s tender emotion as my family and I prepared to relocate for the first time.

She was right. My husband, kids and I were heading out on to a whole new adventure. We were caught up in the activity, and the frenzy — an advanced position with fresh opportunities, a new house, new places to discover and explore. In our eagerness, we forgot those left behind.

“My son’s best friend is leaving; my daughter’s, too.” It was not a guilt trip on my friend’s part. But a simply stated fact. A fact reflecting the reality of how one’s life impacts another.

In the New Testament book of John, Jesus comforts His friends as He prepares to leave. For three years this rag-tag band of twelve men had traveled the dusty roads of Judea and Galilee with Him. They experienced things they could never have imagined had they tried. Water turned into wine. Rescues from life-threatening storms. Miraculous healings. People raised from the dead. They ate with Him. And He taught them — including how to pray.

They had given up everything to follow Him. (Matthew 19:27)

Now their Friend was telling them He was going away.

In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. John 14:2

Overwhelming thoughts. Powerful emotions. Jesus knew that the friends He was leaving behind felt confused and fearful; already experiencing the loneliness caused by the hole He was leaving in their daily lives.

Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. John 14:1

But Jesus did not leave His disciples there in their pain. He would not leave them as orphans. He promised His friends another. A Counselor, who would be with them forever: The Spirit of truth. (John 14:15-18)

And in all the best yet to come, Jesus promised, “And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.” John 14:3

Jesus’ promises reach through to this very day, to each of us who believes Jesus is the way and the truth and the life. (John 14:6) Never will He leave us; never will He forsake us. (Hebrews 13:5)

Truth be told, I am thankful for what my friend felt — it said something about the influence that both I and my children had on her and her family. We had truly been present living in the here and now. It was a lesson with which I encouraged my kids in subsequent moves as they grieved having to move again, leaving behind friends and activities and schools … and dreams for what life would be like if they could stay.

Caring for others. Making time to develop friendships. Giving a piece of our heart. Yes, even though the time may come when we will have to leave it all. Making a difference now — in the present — in the lives of those left behind.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.
I do not give as the world gives.
Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
You heard me say, ‘I am going away
and I am coming back to you.’
John 14:27-28